The Gift of Betrayal

By no means do I believe that I am an expert in reading and interpreting the Bible. Granted, while during my studies at theology school I learned various skills and techniques that helped me better understand different ways of reading the Bible for clarity. The one thing I was taught most during my time at theology school is interpreting the Bible takes a lot of studying, a lot of processing, a lot of skill, discussion, and time. I also learned that I have to be open to hearing the point of view from others because after reading a passage of scripture, what may mean something to one person may mean something totally different for another and that's ok. I believe an interpretation can also change as we get older and grow wiser. Our understanding of things change as we learn more and scripture has a way of meeting us where we are.

For the last few weeks I have been reading in the book of Matthew. This past week I came upon the Matthew 27 which begins Jesus' betrayal by Judas, Jesus' capture and then his death. Jesus knew that he would be betrayed by one of his disciples and he knew exactly which one would be doing the betraying. I have read the book of Matthew countless times. I have known this Bible story since I was a young girl attending Sunday School, however, what stood out to me as I read Matthew 27 this past week was verse 5. Verse 5 reads "and he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed and went and hanged himself."

The he in this passage is Judas. Judas was trying to return the silver he had been paid to betray Jesus' but the leaders who paid him refused to take the money back. They basically said it was blood money and they could not put blood money in the temple. I could say a lot about that Irony but that is not the point I was making in this post. In this post, my attention was on the sense of loss and disgust Judas must have felt before he hung himself.

Obviously, Judas felt horrible about what he had done. Not certain how much time had passed between when Judas kissed Jesus on the cheek as a sign to those who would capture Jesus and when Judas tried to return the money but Judas was apparently having some internal turmoil. Maybe he thought by returning the money he would somehow be absolved of the crime he had committed. Maybe, had the leaders accepted the money Judas may not have hung himself. One of the great things about the Bible, is that we do not know the answers to such questions, however they do give us a reason to pause and think.

The funny thing about betrayal is that the person who was betrayed often will not believe that the person who hurt them was also hurt during the act or possibly even before. Betrayal is hurtful no matter when it happens and forgiveness absolutely does not cross anyones mind in that moment. When I read this story about Judas I was reminded of a time when I was detrayed by someone very close to me. After some time had passed we were able to have a conversation about the situation and I can clearly remember saying, "I thought you were happy and having the time of your life.", to which the person responded, "you have absolutely no idea how miserable I was."

It took some time, but I was able to forgive. I learned a lot about my friend from that conversation and the one thing I took away was that the person had been battling some painful hurts from their past and it spilled over in to our friendship. Totally gave meaning to the old saying...hurt people, hurt people.

Wishing you peace beyond all expectation...