Adding Value
- Rosetta Mandisa
- Feb 17, 2020
- 3 min read
My morning drive has changed a bit. Before the summer of 2019, the only person I had to worry about getting up in the morning was myself. The other folks in the house were old enough to see after themselves. I got myself ready, packed my lunch and was out the door most days by 6:20am. On my ride to work, I listened to one of the many motivational speakers or ministers I enjoy. The drive was usually smooth. I arrived at work with plenty of time to spare before I started my morning duty.
Since August 2019, my peaceful, quiet mornings are quite rushed and many times chaotic. Not only do I now hav
e to get up about thirty minutes earlier to get myself ready, I now have a four year old that requires extra attention in the mornings. What used to be a smooth transition from home to work is now a series of go, go, go and did I forget anything? If I am lucky and I do mean lucky, I can get out of the house by 6:30am, hoping for just enough time to arrive at work, drop my stuff in my classroom and get to my duty before the bell rings.
My morning motivational drive now includes listening to Veggie Tales on the way to daycare. After dropping off the boy at daycare, I sit in the circular drive for a few minutes trying to find some adult inspiration that will slow down my rushed anxiety and push me toward a great, positive attitude. On one of these crazy mornings last week I came across a message by Eric Thomas.
If you’ve never listened to a message by Eric Thomas, I suggest you give one a try. He has an energy that is out of this world. If ET can’t get you pumped and thinking along different lines, no one can. So I’m listening to Eric and toward the end of his message he begins to share about his early relationship with his wife. He stated that he was talking to his wife one day about the lack of intimacy in their relationship. She replied to him that it was hard for her to think about being intimate when she was concerned about working and providing for their family. Basically, it’s kind of hard to think about intimacy when you’re worried about bills.
Although he was working on building himself and his business, Eric discovered within himself that it is hard for women to be women and do women things when they have to not only be women but part man too. The man part being providers and supporters of the family and household. Not saying that women shouldn’t be providers or supporters but if a women is in a relationship with someone who is not doing their fair share and she is taking on the brunt of the household responsibility, the last thing on her mind is going to be building on or strengthening the relationship with her partner.
Like I said, ET makes your think! This particular talk made me think about how positions in relationships have changed some over the years. At the time my parents were together my dad stayed the main provider and supporter of our family. Dad worked, mom took care of the house. My mom worked because she wanted to but both my parents made it known to us that dad was the provider of our family. My mom really was free to do and be what she wanted.
Personally, I think when single mother households grew, so did the thought and expectation that women could do it all. And we can but why should we need to when we are in a relationship with someone who is more than capable of providing and supporting the household too. Of course, if that partner can’t be the provider and supporter you need, it’s time to find a new partner!
Blurred lines…:)
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