Everyday Isn't Perfect or Easy

The last few weeks have been tough. Teaching is definitely not for the faint of heart. As we come up on what is known as "testing season" in my area, the pressure only seems to mount. Everyone wants the students to perform a certain way to prove that they are on level. Sometimes in all of the madness I ask myself, "at whose level should they be performing at, their own or someone else's?' I was so frustrated with it all that during our classroom Morning Meetings, I began talking to my students about what they wanted and what mattered to them. We talked about character traits such as honesty and perseverance. My favorite topic was gratitude. From our talk on gratitude, I had a really great post all ready to go about being grateful and thankful for all things. I had leaned a lot from my students that day!

While I am extremely grateful for my gifts, my family and this beautiful life God has blessed me with, I often struggle with showing up with a grateful heart and attitude, as well as with simply allowing myself at times to be upset, unhappy, angry, frustrated, confused, hurt, sad, depressed and the like!

I get up in the morning, say my prayers before getting out of bed, go about my morning routine and push aside the fact that I really do not want to go to work because I know the exhaustion, tiredness, lack of support and anguish that awaits me there. I am overwhelmed with putting on a brave face, pumping myself up to give my students the very best when my employers can not find it in their hearts or budgets to give me or my colleagues the raises that were due to us nearly two years ago.

I am grateful that I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and gas in my car. Love and I are able to pay our bills on time and live fairly comfortable. We get to enjoy many blessings in this life. The last few weeks, however, have been very difficult and trying. We have both suffered loss among our family and friends. Sadness and hurt are all around us.

Even this morning as I sat crying and sad over a tragic event that happened in my family last night, I played over in my mind all of the good things that have happened in my life thus far in 2022. I am also telling myself today that it is ok to be sad. It is ok to be concerned about my family and friends. Times such as this make me think of my mom and dad and that is ok too. However, I also have to remember to not stay in this place of grief.

Tomorrow, my yoga team and I have our last portfolio project to complete and on Sunday we will celebrate at our certification graduation ceremony. We have worked very

hard and we deserve this. But today, today, I am just going to be me! I am not going to be a teacher, educator, volunteer or teammate. I am not going to be happy, sad, curious, thoughtful, frustrated, anxious or angry. I am just going to be. However I show

up in my space today, will be what it will be. I will not be assigning a title, blame or energy. Today, is simply about giving my energy what it needs most and that is rest.

Always be who you want to be...