…Love Always, Dad
- Rosetta Mandisa
- Jun 3, 2020
- 3 min read
Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com
As Father’s Day draws near, I am thinking about my father. There are not too many days that go by that I don’t think of him. There are so many days when I wish I could drive to my parents’ house to hang out, sit on my dad’s lap and eat until my little heart is content. Unfortunately, for the past eleven years all I could do was wish for those days again. Both of my parents have passed away and it really is a sadness that you just learn to live with because contrary to popular belief, it does not get any easier. I think one of the things I loved most about my dad was his quiet spirit and personality. It took a lot to get him upset to the point where he’d yell at anyone. I didn’t recognize it when I was young but as an adult I truly appreciated the fact that my dad was not afraid to talk to me or my siblings about whatever. No matter what we were going through, my dad would let us talk and talk and talk. He never tired of listening to us. When we were all talked out my dad would just say, “now that is something.” He wasn’t quick to give advice but always wanted to know, “so what are you going to do about it?” When he did have something to share from his life experiences, he didn’t hesitate one bit to tell us.
When I was about thirteen years old, my parents divorced. Oh, it was hard on all of us. My dad worked as a merchant marine and that work required him to be away from home for several months at a time. So, any time we had with him was precious and throw in a divorce, we had no idea how or when we’d get the chance to see him after that. I don’t remember their divorce being overly contentious. After they made the announcement to us kids, I remember my dad saying that even though he didn’t want the divorce, he wanted mom to be happy.
So, as a family, we set about learning to navigate our new normal. When dad came back from working he always made plans to spend time with me and my siblings. It was strange at first, but eventually, we got into a groove that worked for us. Within a few years, both my parents had new spouses, my brother was married and on his second son, my sister had my nephew and I was set to graduate high school. Then a very strange turn of events happened, my parents decided that they’d made a mistake. They wanted to be married to each other after all.
A few months after my high school graduation, my parents got remarried. Truth be told, I wasn’t too happy about it. At the time, I didn’t understand why they couldn’t have just worked it out the first time around. Anyway, they stayed married until my dad passed away twenty years later. Yes, my parents’ divorce was a dark period in all of our lives but what I remember most was that my dad was always there for me. He was always willing to meet me half way. No matter what I was going through, he didn’t judge me or make me feel like I had done something so terrible that I couldn’t come back from it. My dad always made room for forgiveness and once he moved passed something, he didn’t bring it up again.
I love that my dad was a man of his word. If he said he was going to do something, he did it. He never made a promise to me or my siblings that he did not keep. And when he was wrong, he said he was wrong. I think these are two very rare qualities I don’t find many men my age to have. They just don’t make them like my dad anymore!
Family first…:}
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