Say When

A few days ago, a friend asked what I enjoy about writing. My reply...freedom! For me, writing is so freeing. It gives me the opportunity to clear my head of thoughts, questions, cares and concerns. For me, writing is an amazing outlet which brings me to why I am writing today.

In my quiet time this week, I have been reading through the book of Hosea. What I remember most about the book of Hosea and what many people seem to refer to when discussing this book is the infidelity of Hosea's wife Gomer. Also a topic of conversation about this book is the love Hosea seems to have for his wife. So much so, he continues to forgive her many indiscretions.

I learned something else this week in reading Hosea. In previous readings of this book, I never gave much attention to the struggle God was having. Similar to Hosea, God was struggling with the faithless people of Israel. After all God had done for them, they continued to turn their backs on him. Similar to the love Hosea had for his wife, God had an undying love for the people of Israel. God wanted nothing more than to have a faithful, loving relationship with Israel. By Chapter 11, God seems to be going back and forth between his love for Israel and his anger toward them for the hurt they caused. But just as Hosea forgives his wife and takes her back, God, again, forgives Israel.

As I read Chapter 11, I was stopped with this question, how do you stop loving someone or something you have poured your heart into? For God, He literally poured his life into Israel. This chapter made me think about friendships and relationships that I have had that did not turn out the way I would have hoped. The friendships and relationships I struggled with the most were the ones where I seemed to be the only one putting in the time and effort. I was the one making the phone calls to keep in touch, making arrangements to hang out and sending "checking on you" texts. Looking back, those relationships were heavy, draining and hurtful.

I absolutely can not say that I was anywhere near God's level of hurt but this connection helped me to see more clearly his struggle with wanting what's best for people and not wanting to continue putting himself out there to be hurt over and over again. God is all powerful, all knowing and loves us unconditionally. We, on the other hand, have to work a bit harder to love our neighbors as ourselves, be quick to forgive and slow to anger. I have also been made more mindful of how my actions and choices can be hurtful to God.

Building a relationship of any kind is hard. We do not know how it will turn out or whether or not we will be hurt. That does not stop us from putting ourselves out there and hoping for the best. Relationships can be good for us when they are the right one. I do not think we necessarily have to stop loving someone or something we have poured our heart into but I do think that if it no longer feels right, you can forgive and move on.