Silence is Not the Answer

In the last week, I came across two items in my reading that gave me pause. The first was a post that read...

Can we please stop associating strength with someone's ability to smile through tears and suffer in silence? Strength is being brave enough to talk about what's hurting you on the inside. - Dissociative Diaries

The second is from Braving the Wilderness by Brene' Brown that reads...

Sometimes the most dangerous thing for kids is the silence that allows them to construct their own stories - stories that almost always cast them as alone and unworthy of love and belonging.

For many of us, silence is how we cope with a situation. As kids we are taught to be seen and not heard. We are often taught not to speak about the bad things. The bad things can only harm us if we let it and never to forget that sticks and stones..., we know how that story goes.

Unbeknownst to those who tried to protect us from the bad stuff, many of us were taught something even more harmful, to suffer in silence. Without proper guidance, we wrestled with feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, a lack of self worth and overall pain. As children, we didn't know how to construct a wall of strength, self assuredness, and purpose because we sometimes lacked the foundation of self-esteem, boundaries, priority and bonded relationships with those in charge of caring for us.

When I think about the challenges I have faced and the relationship I had with each of my parents, before I get angry about what I lacked growing up, I have learned to think about what THEY lacked growing up. Knowing my family history and cultural history has taught me a lot about the life I was born into. It also helps me to focus on what I can do better going forward so that what I believe was my parents' true intentions will live out in my son and then in my grandsons.

Truthfully, it wasn't until I found my voice that I was able to actually learn, grow and find the peace I needed to live the life of my choosing. My voice and my story are a true blessing. I would encourage anyone who feels stuck or silenced to allow their voice to be the tool that breaks them free.