The Audacity of Change
- Rosetta Mandisa
- Jan 2, 2021
- 3 min read
Change = make (someone or something) different; alter modify
No one ever said change was easy. Sometimes, change is the only way to grow. If we took fear out of the equation, what would change look like for you? How would your life be different? What impact would you have on the world and especially those around you? This holiday season has given me the amazing opportunity to spend some time with a relative I do not get to see very often. He and I have had some very in-depth conversations about life, family, his goals, his dreams and why we should all be honest with ourselves and those closest to us. Hearing this young man speak, I just wanted to sit and ask as many questions as I could. To be seventeen, he is very articulate and clear in his speech and has the most profound things to say about a variety of subjects. The one thing that struck me the most was his willingness to simply be honest no matter what question I threw at him.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com
He is the third born of his mother’s five children. He lives primarily with his mother and has a good relationship with his father. Being the oldest male in the house, he has taken on the responsibility of seeing after both of his two younger brothers as well as keeping an eye on his older sister that live in the house as well. One of the things he struggles with, and is clearly aware of, is that he did not ask for this added responsibility nor does he want it but knows it’s necessary to help his mother who is doing her best to raise them.
In our conversation, he explained to me that he has fallen behind in his school work mostly due to the fact that his mother tends to rely on him to help her with things like cooking, cleaning, helping his siblings with their school work, running errands, assisting her at her place of employment and walking the dog. By the time he sits down to try to complete his school work, it is so late at night, he is so exhausted that he often falls asleep before getting it all done. While he’s had many conversations with his mother about how her reliance on him is affecting his ability to do and be his best, her reply is often an apology and a statement to do better. According to this young man, change never comes.
This young man’s statement to me was, “we have talked about this many times. She knows she needs to change and she knows what she needs to do. She is obviously scared. If only she understood that instead of talking about changing, she actually made the necessary changes, she’d know that life would be so much better for me, for my brothers and sister and for her.” He ended that statement with, “it’s all about the mindset.”
Wow! As an adult, there was absolutely nothing I could add to what he’d said. He was right! We all know what we should do. We know that there are things we could change to make life better for ourselves and those around us. Often times we let fear of the unknown stop us from pushing forward. Somehow, we’ve got it in our minds that this is just how it is. But does it have to be?
Everything we want is on the other side of fear…:)
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